The Tangled (& Amazing) Web We Weave

Inspired by a blog I stalk daily, www.kellehampton.com,  and a dear friend of mine, Rachael, I'm writing this post.

I am a firm believer that every move we make helps determine our destiny and fated future. Every job you have.  Every job you leave.  Every contact you make.  Every city you move to. Every visit home. Every friendship coddled. Every friendship dissolved. All of it. It's all connected, beautiful & necessary.

There's a web we are all building and weaving throughout our lives. A web that catches us when we fall, flings us into the air when we soar. An evolving web consisting of all of these relationships we've had, lost, reconnected with, started anew, etc. This web supports us and those around us, and it is during important times of change or a sudden flux in your life, that we notice who it's true members are.

At one of my showers before the wedding, my mom made a reference to this very web during the 'Sacred Circle' ceremony. This is a ceremony where these phenomenal women in my life, many of my mom's oldest friends who have known me since the day I was born, joined hands to produce an energy around my marriage with Jeremy and our new, joining families. It's a Native American ritual and is extremely powerful (Sara can attest -- she was speechless for the first time....probably ever :)). I'll never forget this notion of our 'web', of our community, we build for ourselves. It's so important...scratch that...VITAL to the very existence of my marriage and other relationships. Without this thickly roped web -- these friends -- these support beams --- our daily lives, strifes, conflicts, etc., would be nearly impossible to mend or even proceed through. You need these people. You need your people....yo 'peeps....in order to get by, and not just that, but to truly EXCEL in whatever it is that's on your plate at any particular time.

Your wedding, for instance, is a significant time of change not just for you and your spouse, but for your web. True colors are shown in those around you. Friendship hues are brightened and dulled. "Webbies" emerge and surprise the pants off you with their love and support and joy, permanently joining your web, as you join theirs in return. In retrospect, and still as a newly wed, this is one of my greatest observations from the entire experience. I have been able to expand some relationships beyond what was even imaginable a year ago. I've been able to act as a support beam for many of my friends who's hues certainly did brighten over the last 6 months, catching them as they've fallen or cheering them on as they've soared. It makes for a fulfilling existence. It simplifies things in an ever-changing complex world. That's what it's all about, right? Our relationships are what give meaning to this mess. They're what we stay motivated by....

This painting was produced by 6 friends, coordinated by my dear mother, as a shower gift for Jeremy and I. Six women from 4 different states, came together to put in oil and on canvas what our 'ecosystem' looks like in this stage of our life. Without our web and without our peeps, this canvas would be pretty damn bare and pretty damn sad, if you ask me. It serves as a daily reminder of those thick, rope-like strands of our web, even as I stumble past it into the kitchen each morning, half awake, one eye relatively open, reaching zombie-style for my coffee.

So, thank you to all of you.  You know exactly who you are.

Love yas.

-ERSM (& JARM, in this case)

P.S. I leave you with our 'aisle'/'here comes the bride' song from the wedding. It gives me so many warm and fuzzies about that experience & about all of you :)

Much Needed Comfort Foods

Keeping your life in perspective is pretty much a crucial task these days. It's so easy to become ignorant to other's realities. It's something that is easy to forget about, but very easy to accomplish if you just open your eyes and take a look around. There are oodles of reasons to be thankful and grateful for what we have. The lines between the haves and the have nots, seem to be growing thicker and thicker. So, by forcing ourselves to recognize the differences and do something good for others who maybe can't for themselves, can not only change their lives even for just a moment, but enrich your own far beyond just that moment.

Last night we prepared dinner for the families at the Believe in Tomorrow Children's House at Hopkins. These families have sick children at Johns' Hopkins and they live in this facility for their stint at the hospital. Sometimes for days and sometimes for months and months at a time. They come from all over -- Tennessee, Alabama, Texas.  Even overseas. They come for the best care and treatment you can provide your child. They give up their jobs, their homes. They pull their other, healthy children out of school and even bring them along. Comfort foods is what's for dinner and boy do they need it (and deserve it. Every bite.)

Some children have extremely rare heart defects that require multiple, high-risk surgeries, like the 5 1/2 week old little boy, Theodore, who has never been "home" and who's parents have lived at the Hopkins House since his due date. Or Tatum from Alabama, who was born blind and has servere epilepsy caused by a stroke in utero. 80% of her day she spent seizing. They performed an extremely rare and dangerous brain surgery on her six year old little brain two weeks ago. She only has the right side left. Recovery is going well, though, and if all continues this way, her precious life will be saved. She's counting to 30 already and still knows her ABC's. Amazing.

There are so many more stories just like these. So many more families leaving all they know, giving up their life savings, incurring massive, unimaginable debt, to save their child or give them somewhat of a life worth living.

You can imagine, the last thing Tatum's dad, Robert, is thinking about is what he and his wife, Terry, will eat for their next meal. They are back and forth from their little girl's recovery room and their Hopkins House room. Barely have time for showers or laundry, much less time to make a meal that is NOT from the hospital cafeteria or the convenient store on Wolfe St. Volunteers come in and make enough grub for 30 people, which is MORE than plenty of food allowing for these residents to eat homemade leftovers for days if they'd like. Most of them do.

We cooked up quite the feast last night....homemade mac 'n cheese, creamed corn, which a sweet little mom asked me for the recipe for and I gladly gave it up. Hot turkey and gravy sandwiches, chicken pot pie, chicken noodle soup, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, chocolate chip cookies, and more. It was a feast and they deserved every last ounce. Every last kernel of corn. Every last slurp of chicken noodle soup. All of it.

Chatting with these people who have been stripped of all pride, joy, & hope in some cases, is truly eye opening. They are thrilled to have people like us there to chat with and share their stories with. Or not. Maybe just talk about football playoffs, their favorite teams. What 'purple Friday' is. Or maybe just the chat about the weather or their farm that their husband is tending to back in Tennessee; calling everyday for an update on how the bails of hay are coming along or the dairy cows.  Maybe that's all they want.

If you're interested in helping out with something like this, check it out. They would love to meet you & taste your delicious, homemade offerings, I'm sure. Hopefully by then, Tatum will be home in Alabama singing her ABC's at the top of her lungs, while Theodore's mom gets to give him a bath for the first time after his final open heart surgery.

Someone's gotta bring home the turkey bacon!!!

Having a 'stay-at-home' husbot is an interesting existence for me. He wears PJs 90% of his life. While the rest of the world is up and humming, he sleeps until 9-9:30am each morning, after working until 1-2am each night. Definite night owl (hoot). He can be SUPER busy, working 17-hour days or it's just the opposite. He's slow as molasse, does all of the laundry & cleans the house by the time I'm sitting down for lunch at work.

Someone's gotta bring home the turkey bacon though!!! And that's yours truly. My steady income is a comfort to him I think. Yes, it's not as MUCH as he makes dollar-wise, but it's constant and predictable (I say that  now, watch I'll lose an account and POOF comfort goes out the window... currently knocking on wood. You should, too. Thanks.)

It's nice to have a domesticated partner, who not only can put up crown molding & lay dry wall, but can also clean the floor boards of cat fur & put my undies away properly, fresh out of the dryer.

Jeremy does a TON around the house, clearly. He loves to stay busy, even when actual work isn't thrown his way & business is slow. In his line of work, there are major ebbs and flows -- he's either slammed and stressed with 7 huge projects going on at once all with the same deadline, or he's got nothin' to do but take care of me, the house and the cats. Those are the times when the yard is raked or mowed, the garden is tended to, the garage is clean, the basement vacuumed, the cat boxes scooped, the cars washed, & miraculously...the dinner is even made (if you can believe that).

I think he has day-dreams of being a stay-at-home dad. Well I got news for him .... it ain't happenin'. If I'm going to bunk out those babies and we are even close to finically-able to have a parent at home & one income, it'll be THIS girl. Ideally, I'd work part time and Jeremy would continue to work for himself, allowing for a very flexible schedule. Then we wouldn't incur daycare costs, which are astronomical from what I hear. But, maybe he would need to take a full-time position at a firm again to support us. Who knows. It'll be interesting to see; that's for sure.

No babies in the very near future for us, though. These are all just future thoughts of what's to come eventually...a few years from now. Although, I do have some friends (aheeemmmm, Sarah B, Rachael and Jess B) who think conception is right around the corner for Jeremy and I! Nutso. Yes, we'd be thrilled and over-joyed, I'm sure, if I turned up pregs, but right now we are definitely sticking to our '2 year plan' as long as that continues to be what we both want.

Sometimes I do find myself saying "GIVE ME A BABYYYYYYY, DAMNIT!" Only after a few cab-savs, though. Followed by Jeremy looking at me like I'm nuts and running away screaming ;)

Gotta love banter & more importantly, gotta keep 'em on their toes!

Here's a foreshadowing for your viewing pleasure. How cute our baby will be! Hehe. For now, we'll just hold Little Luke and play with Miss Charlie, & get our fix elsewhere.

XOXO & TGIF, Y'all.
-ERSM

Changes.

Lately, probably since the wedding, I've noticed what excites me in my daily life is very much changing. This I feel is totally normal, and VERY interesting to observe. For instance ---

I recently joined a book club. I find myself frequently cooking with our new crock pot that we got for the wedding (thanks, Whit!), which, by the way, I'm obsessed with. My weekends are filled with Bikram, gym, cleaning, laundry and low-key dinners with a few friends. I plan my weekly meals and even write them down on this awesome What to Eat pad I found at Anthro. Highly recommend it to all. I desperately look forward to my weekly trip to the Giant so that I can write in our meals on this organizational necessity.

I get super excited about mini brussel sprouts from the local market, (and don't get me started on the farmer's market in the summer time. Posts will prove my obsession! Brace yourselves...) Hanging wedding pictures in our bedroom. Discovering that garnishing white wine with frozen cranberries not only keeps it cold with out diluting but is also beautiful to look at.


I love cuddling with my cat & my grandmother's quilt on a week night with a hot cup of tea, just before bed (at 9:30p. Unless it's Monday (Bachelor) or Tuesday (Biggest Loser) then I'm up til a whopping 10PM!!!! Don't judge).

Puzzles can keep me occupied for a good week. Strawberry frosted donuts are a MAJOR treat, not to mention a throw-back to my very early childhood years....those were my FAVE and donut of choice when Mom would come home with breakfast in hand from her 7p-7a night shift at the hospital. 

Wine has become my beverage of choice...and not Franzia any longer. Even though I have some very fond memories of that chilled box o' wine, now I get the $9.99 bottle of cab-sav from the corner liquor store, and that does me good. Still definitely make my purchase based on the label. I'm not that knowledgable ;)

Last night I went to this posh, little wine bar, 13.5%, with a girl friend. We gossiped while sipping from our Spanish and Italian Flights, & nibbling on sheep's milk cheese from France, and aged cheddar from England. Those are some of my favorite times, these days. Indulgent, yet responsible. Seems to be the new theme of my married life, especially after reviewing the pictures I just uploaded to this post! Lets see....2 wine images... Donuts & other food....A menu....Yea.

To top it off, it's Wednesday and I'm planning out the meal we're going to create at the Russell's house on Friday after work. Low-key evening with dear friends, a healthy shrimp & quinoa dinner, some vino, and our god daughter? Yes, please.

Friday nights sure have changed....and I love it.

Heavenly Java.

I'm going nuts today. Bouncing off all four walls of my office. Must be the coffee I had this morning. Well hello again, caffeine. Sheesh. I was worried my faves at Dunkin D's would have forgotten me by now, but they didn't. They were happy to see me and had my large coffee extra skim ready for my enjoyment. I love my dunker gals. I think I got my caffeine fix the almighty approval. Would you look at these heavenly rays shining down on my steaming beverage this morning?!?!?! What on earth?

I enjoyed every sip.

Now I'm losing my mind. Good thing I'm the only one here in the office today or else I'd probably get fired. I have Deftones & The Faint on full blast, singing at the top of my lungs. Sorry neighbors, if you can hear me. It's too dang bad. I gotta get this energy out before I head home so I don't get divorce papers issued my direction ;) Kidding. He loves my crazy side...I think.

Tonight we're meeting one of my oldest and dearest friends for happy hour(s). I love it when life changes and takes you in a million directions and down a million different paths, but your friends remain the same. That's how you know it's a true, deep friendship. We have gone years without seeing or even talking to each other, but the second we are in each other's presence, it's like we're back in 7th grade all over again. And I love it! Yea, Emory, I'm talking about YOU guuuurrrlll. :)

Last night at the Hamilton Tavern, where we stopped in after dinner at Casey's, I ran into another old friend of mine. We didn't keep in touch at all after middle school though. She moved away. It was really cool to see her again though. Total blast from the past.

Funny how all of our million paths seem to re-cross at various points in life. Funny.

Alright, back to The Faint. Maybe I'll run some sprints after lunch before my eye balls bulge out of my skull.

Maybe I should have gotten a Medium coffee....

I got nothin' much.

And I don't feel like blogging about the cleanse anymore than you want to read about it, but here's how I feel today, on my first day off the cleanse. I feel the same. Great.  I'm eating a lot of the same kinds and portions of food, which is what I hoped would happen. Two-egg breakfast (much different from 5-6 shitakes on sprout toast), avocado/arugula/sprout salad on whole grain pita, fruit salad snack, etc. Keep these lbs coming off!

One note: DON'T go to Bikram on your final day of cleanse. You might puke and die like I almost did last night. Drink a coconut water before practice and that should help. Man, that was rough.

Tonight though, I have date night and I couldn't be more excited. Getting that Greek Salad with THE chicken from Casey's in T- minus 2 hours. Plus, a nice cab-sav, all the while sitting with my man-candy. We haven't enjoyed a 'real' meal together in 11 days. It's been all about my cleanse and how I was jealous of his plate. Now's our time.

Also, this great site for those of you on my team trying to lose weight -- www.loseit.com. Great for tracking your progress, learning about calories in the foods you love and maybe don't love but should eat more often. Just being more aware of what you put in your bod. Plus, it's super easy to use and pretty accurate I'm finding.  You can also enter your exercise. They have sexual activity on there, too! But is reads as 0 cals burned...how is that possible? Anyway, A handful of my girlfriends are signed up (it's free) and are reaping the benes. Do it!

That's all I got.

Oh and this. I have the strangest cat alive. He actually LIKES this. Purrs the whole time. Weirdo, Goku.

Final Days

Today marks Day 9. Only one more day to go. I'm quite proud of myself for getting this far. Just a few things that I'd like to note about this experience -- things I'll continue...things I'm pleasantly surprised by...things I'm excited for once it's over.

I pledge to continue:

- to have lemon water be the first thing that enters my bod in the morning. It's a great way to kick start your hydration for the day, it breaks down mucus (barf. hate that word), and alkalizes your tissues (whatever that actually means). Plus, water is supposed to be the first thing you ingest for the day -- not tea, not coffee, not breakfast, not whiskey (wait...).
- to drink a million oz of water a day to "keep things moving" nicely.
- to use rosemary & grapefruit body oil each morning post shower in place of lotion. These particular essential oils boost circulation.
- to buy sprouted bread vs. regular whole grain bread. The extra protein keeps you more full, longer. Can't pass that up.
- to eat every 2-3 hours. Keeps your metabolism up obviously, but also stops you from getting too hungry and overeating
- to plan my meals (for the most part). In order to eat so frequently, you have to have a plan. Otherwise you'll skip meals/snacks and/or order a grilled cheese with bacon for lunch (wait, maybe that's just me...).
- to make quinoa frequently. High in protein for a girl who doesn't eat a ton of meat AND delicious!!!
- to make my lunch and dinner meals consist of 2/3's veggies
- to NEVER EVER EVER eat 5-6 shitake mushrooms on toasted, dry sprouted bread for breakfast AGAIN.

I am pleasantly surprised by: 

- my lack of urges for bad foods. For instance, last night Jeremy was painting the basement and wanted a Banana Milkshake. My first reaction was "REALLY?!" And then I wanted to slam his head in the Turtle Dove paint can. But my second reaction was "Wait. I don't have any interest in a milkshake." So I made it. Piece of cake (or shake?).
- how clean my kitchen has been. Because of all of the prep work involved with the detox, I have no choice but to leave my kitchen 100% clean at the end of the day, ready for the next. That includes all pots, pans, necessary utensils, and appliances.
- how much energy I have. Hope that continues. I think it has to do with going to bed early, not drinking, eating frequently, etc. All good things!
- the positive reaction I've received from many people -- co-workers, husbot, friends, facebook peeps, etc.
- the pounds I've dropped. Can't complain there!!

I am excited for:

- Casey's Greek Salad w/ Grilled Chicken as my first non-cleanse dinner. Their chicken is...I have no words. It's indescribable.
- PB&J, as previously mentioned.
- Friday happy hour and celebrating with a beverage! Long time no see, Cab-Sav.
- the general knowledge I've gained and habits I've been taught. Thank you to my friend Kate for sharing and to the Nutritionist at Whole Foods!