Happiness is...

This post idea was stolen from Kelle Hampton's blog -- my absolute most favorite blogger of all time and someone I plan on flying to FL to stalk one of these days ---- I need to see her life in action..live action.

Recently, as much as fabulous happenings have been all around me, I've also directly & indirectly learned of loss, heartache, struggle, issues in marriages of people dear to me, issues with children, new babies, settling in with a new family and what that brings on. Thinking and talking and pressures and stresses about my own family and when we'll start "trying", etc, etc. So much of what we do in our short lives is deal, cope, learn, grow. All important and necessary verbs. There are sometimes when we're dealing, or learning, or coping, or growing, that we are also made more aware. More aware of what is around us... what exists right now... in this moment. I know I've been on a 'experience the moment' kick, but it keeps rearing it's adorable little head, so I must keep writing.

Today I would like to recognize what happiness is....in the smallest most simplest form possible...for me....in this space...right now. Here goes...

Our new porch swing and the wonderful memories that will be made with our butts in those spots.

Fire engine red tulips popping up that didn't bloom last year, so we had no clue. Nice little surprise to enjoy for a few weeks.

Hilarious card from a 90 year old PA woman we've never met but who goes to church with my in-laws. Must have laughed for a day over this. So much for happy Easter to me! I'm just the competition....

Fresh cut grass....and fresh cut grass scented candles. Due in from an Amazon order in a few short days.

Spring-time steak dinners where for the first time EVER, the steak isn't over-cooked. Small miracle.

Bunny ears on babies who I adore with all cells in my bod.

A friend's most perfect, simple engagement, bringing butterflies to my belly like it was my own. No pic.

70% off lanterns to light up our porch-sitting Spring/Summer eves. Come on over!

Mini, antique bicycle necklace hidden in the bottom of my easter basket from the thoughtful man-candy in my life.

This list could go on and on and on, for all of us, just once we stop to smell the fire engine red tulips sprouting up amongst the coping, learning, changing, lives we lead.

Be happy.

-ERSM

P.S. I think this will be my final post (for now) about 'smelling the roses' k? :)

Tastes of the past.

To surprise my Dad for his 60th birthday (video to come), I flew down to Burningtown, NC, this past weekend...you know that place I've mentioned as my cozy haven away from home? With the stone hearth-ed fire place heating the A-frame and 100 year old trees towering over you? Where the night is so quiet you sleep sounder than a newborn. Where the dogs and cats live the life (many humans say they would like to die and come back to this earth as one of Patsy's pets. Ha.), and honeybees pump out Sourwood-filled jars by the dozen. Where fresh veggies are earthed from the garden daily in the summer and fall months, taken straight to the kitchen and then devoured into your belly minutes later -- doesn't get any fresher than that. There are different flowers and trees blooming almost year round, producing the purest of smells in the mountain air and the most delicate and natural hand-picked arrangements.


This place is full of life -- it's all around you.

It's also the place we celebrated my dad's 60th birthday...because well, he lives there! Lucky duck. For this monumental occasion Patsy and I debated over the menu for days...weeks maybe...until it was decided. To match the Yellow Chocolate Cake tradition my grandfather started many moons ago, we wanted to pull from Barry's childhood and make this feast truly special -- maybe tug on his heart strings a bit even.

Fried bologna sandwiches it was! Dad recalled these from his growing-up days in Athens, GA, and probably as early as his L.A., days, too. It's a simple and delicious combination of fried bologna (obvs), sliced american cheese (which was probably government cheese back in the day -- with 7 young mouths to feed you had to take what you could get!), mayo, and untoasted slicing bread -- we had wheat and white options. Back then I'm sure it was white only (and probably from the government, too). We also sliced tomatos and separated lettuce for those looking for a bit of fiber & nutrients with their fat & chemicals ;)

MmmmmmmMMMM were they tasty. Wish I had a pic to share. Good thing I didn't plan Cleanse Round 2 over this particular weekend --- I'm assuming bologna (fried, at that) doesn't fall within a cleanse menu.

We set out chips, cheese and crackers, a veggie plate with hummus and ranch, fruit salad, etc....the normal birthday party snackings. Slow-cooked pork loin, homemade mac n cheese and potato salad balanced the old with the new, but the sandwiches were the definitely main attraction and the biggest hit I think.

To continue the theme, old fashioned candy littered the dining room table -- candy cigarettes, Bit 'o Honeys, Mary Janes, Taffy, Teaberry Gum, those awful button things stuck to the paper that looks like receipt paper, and of course, Dad's all-time favorite, hands down, #1 stocking stuffer & easter basket filler, first choice in the grocery line -- Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The man is obsessed.


It was a perfect weekend, filled with mouthwatering tastes from the past, perfectly executed surprises, special friends and devoted family. Happy Birthday, Dad. Hope it was the best one yet!

XOXO
-ERSM

P.S. Patsy, the surpreme bee-keeper, caught this swarm while I was down visiting!! Amazing!

A conscious effort to be in the "now".

Lately (a lot during my long runs when I'm dreading the next mile), I notice myself focusing on the next thing....the next meal....the next day at work....the next work out. Instead of being in that moment and fully enjoying my surroundings, like the blue sky, trees blooming and the birds singing while training,  I'm thinking about what's to come (or when this hellish mile is going to end!). I know that a lot of this brain activity is simply ingrained in my genes and something I don't have a lot of control over --- I'm slightly anal and controlling --- but I'm recognizing this semi-flaw more and more as I go on.

I'll literally be sitting down for dinner, either out or in, and think to myself, "what should we have for dinner tomorrow?" or "I wonder what I wrote on the WHAT TO EAT notepad for my lunch tomorrow." Not normal. Instead, I should be 100% enjoying the company of my husbot across the table, having deeper conversation about our days, and work, and anything really...as long as 100% of me, or close to it, is present. Not letting my brain wander with trivial thoughts takes practice and patience. I have to be conscious of it. Sounds like ADD now that I'm blogging about it. But I don't have problems concentrating, really, it's just there's so much going on inside this brain of mine....in this life of ours....it's hard to just be in the moment.

I have always been envious of 'in the moment' people. Never been one. Not even close and it's getting worse. I admire a carefree outlook and aspire to have a nice balance of the two minds. Sometimes that's achievable I think, but harder to accomplish as we get older, have more responsibility, lead complex lives. Simplifying is crucial and also one way I try to alleviate my million-miles-a-minute mind.

Keeping the weekend balanced with social, home and relaxation is one way to achieve a sound mind for me, which translates to being able to enjoy each item or event on the list and not worry about making it to the next. This way, you're not jamming each and every weekend full of things to do -- both fun and necessary. Now this is not always a success in our household. I tend to say 'yes' to every offer from any friend. I tend to fill our calendar months in advance. Jeremy shakes his head at this -- he's much more of a home-body, as I've mentioned previously. Learning to say 'yes' and 'no' when they each apply is a learned thing for me. I'm still learning. Doing a much better job though since I've become more aware (and had a great convo with the male member of Team Baldwin a month or so back...got some great perspective).

Part of me says 'screw it - say yes to everything now because one day you'll be pregnant, or have babies, and not be able to do these things on a whim, or only once every blue moon'. Here again though, I'm focusing on what's to come and not what's in the now.

In the now we need balance and down time, just as we will in the future and always. Interests evolve, lives change, but this 'now' notion is one that I hope plays on and rings constant in my journey. Enjoy what we are experiencing here and now and today because it's really all we have, isn't it? I hate to reference the "if I got hit by a bus tomorrow" mentality, but it's a good one to occasionally think of....especially in this case.

I'd like to think that I can enjoy my grilled salmon over mixed greens dinner with J at 100% the day before I exit. Not contemplate tomorrow's hamburger and sweet potato fries.

Aaaand now I'm hungry. :)

XOXO
-ERSM

P.S. & totally off topic....We've been buying this local, organic skim milk at Belvedere Market instead of the hormone-packed crapola Giant pumps out. It tastes AMAZING and is 'green'! We bring our empty glass jug back for a new, full one with a small, one-time down payment of $2. Costs a bit more per jug but totally worth it. Check out some local dairies around your way and find out where they distribute!

Fleeting Fancies.

Training for the Baltimore 10-Miler has been great so far -- yes, it's only been a week and a half, but I'm already feeling better and stronger than I did on my first venture out hitting the roads. Running is a mental thing for me -- I can only really get into it when I'm working toward a goal; training for a race. Running is not something that I feel the need to do everyday, like my step-dad and many of my friends. In fact, many days I hate it. Many days I hate every step, every block, every mile. Many days I want to quit. I wonder to myself, "WHY are you torturing yourself, Emily?!" "WHY get yourself into this mess?!?!" I guess the only answer is that at the end of each training run...at the end of each race...I feel FANTASTIC. The effort that goes into it must be well worth the reward or else thousands upon thousands would not continue to sign up for marathons, halfs, 10ks, etc. I, especially, would not.

There's something so special about race day. Something's in the air. Dedication. I think that's what it is. All participants kicked their own butts to be there and they are eager to finish the damn thing! Add that race to their list! So, there's dedication and a healthy anxiety in the air, making for a seriously great morning. Gah I get goosebumps just thinking about the start!

I wish running to me was addictive. I wish I had that feeling, that urge, in my cells. Anyone out there who is addicted care to share with me? I've now completed about a million 5Ks, a half-marathon and a marathon relay. This 10-miler will be my first long-distance race (beyond 5k) since Oct 2009. Quite some time. Any suggestions for how to keep this routine up would be much appreciated, kind running readers. I aspire to be like you!

Part of my problem, which is apparent in almost all aspects of my life actually, is that I have too many interests. It's hard for me to pick one thing and stick to it. I struggle with it in my career, hobbies & interests like cooking & gardening, music I listen to, trends I follow (which I suppose are meant to change so that doesn't really count), books I read, or lack there of, etc. This can be a positive attribute in these short lives we lead, but internally I view it as a disservice to myself almost. It's complicated.

Exercise in particular has and always will be an important piece of me and who I am, but it's just always changing. Gym classes for 4 months. Bored. Cardio machines for a month. Bored. Weights every other day, then NEVER. Yoga 3 times a week, to 2 times a week, to 1 and then none. Pilates was in there for a bit but never resurfaced now that I think about it. Got my Spinning certification, which I never used. Got bored before training was even over I think. Running when the season changes and I get the itch to sign up for a race. All of these float in and out of my life, almost cyclical.

I suppose I get bored easily. That could be an answer. (Hopefully not with my marriage -- KIDDING, J. Lurve ya!)

New running kicks, baby!

Being passionate is important to me...important to human identity. I'd like to think that one day I'll be a runner. Or be a yogi. Or be a self-proclaimed "chef" or gardener. There's a big difference between specializing and generalizing -- so far I definitely fall in the latter category. Will that always be? Who knows. Is it a bad thing, per say? No. But man, I'd love to know what if feels like to proclaim, knowing it's not going to change in 6 months down the road, I AM a runner. Not just, yea I have run sometimes, randomly when the season changes and the earth is properly aligned with the moon and I have green socks on with new running shoes and ate Cheerios for breakfast at exactly 7:03AM. I want specificity and shelf-life with my hobbies -- enough jumping around already! I want to be that painter, for instance, that can't put down her brush and it's all she wants to talk about and do and breathe and live.

Fleeting interests frustrate me, clearly. I suppose it's good to have interests though, and I should be happy about that. They keep my days different from the next. Give me things to plan for, things to measure myself with. Either way, still a tad frustrating.

And I digress now....time for a hair cut and color! PEACE OUT!

Signed,
Over-analyzing Emily